


A Handbook for Family Dinners

by qwanderer



Series: something like home [6]
Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Memory Alteration, Multi, Oops, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Spoilers, Thanksgiving Fic, in May, mostly family fluff, not all ships are necessarily both romantic and sexual, now with brief scenes of combat and minor injuries, read it as you may
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-17
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-03-30 21:45:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3952912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qwanderer/pseuds/qwanderer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not a lot of them have had a family this big before. It's a little bit daunting... but it's also amazing.</p><p>Whether that will see them through thanksgiving dinner without triggering any of their major issues... well, that's another question.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Family meeting!" Laura announced lightly at dinner one night in October. "Who are we going to invite for Thanksgiving this year?" 

Cooper perked up at the idea of visitors. "All the avengers!" he suggested. 

Clint raised his eyebrows at his oldest son. " _All_ the avengers?" 

"And Uncle Nick," Lila chimed in. 

"Well of _course_ Uncle Nick," Laura replied, laughing. 

Natasha looked at Bruce. "I'm guessing Iron Man's a big 'yes' on the invite list. But we don't have to have a big crowd, right? Bruce, how are you and Wanda these days?" 

"We're okay," Bruce said, nodding a little. "Last time she was here, we talked... set some boundaries. It would be great to see her, and Steve. Especially since neither of them really has anywhere else to go." 

"Well, Steve and I've both got a standing invitation with Sam's folks, actually. But if you're okay with having a big group?" 

Bruce shook his head. "I don't want to be the guy who stops the rest of you from doing what you want to do. I handled Tony's parties, I'm sure I can handle this." 

Natasha just looked at him sadly, a little appraisingly, biting her lip. 

"We want you to feel safe here," Laura said from his other side. "This is your home." 

"And you're a flight risk," Natasha said when she made up her mind to speak. "You don't always speak up when you're starting to be uncomfortable." 

"Sometimes I do," he countered. 

They looked at each other sadly. 

"I'm still new to this dance," she murmured, smoothing down the corner of her napkin absently, "so please let me know if I'm stepping on your toes." 

"The Avengers are... they're family," he said. "Putting up with family on Thanksgiving, it's what you do." 

Breaking the somewhat tense silence, Nate made a worried noise from his high chair, pushing cheerios away to the edges of the tray and reaching for Clint. "Dada," he said pleadingly. 

Clint picked Nathaniel up out of his chair, bouncing him on his knee. "Yeah, Sprout, we're cool," he murmured reassuringly. "So I'm guessing Sam and Rhodey'll be busy with Sam's folks?" he asked in Natasha's direction. 

"They will be if we don't ask them," she said, inclining her head slightly. 

"We should," Lila said. " _All_ the Avengers." 

"I haven't seen Falcon's wings up close yet," Cooper commented, looking excited. 

"Let's see," said Laura. " _All_ the Avengers, all of us, Uncle Nick, Tony and Pepper - what is that, fifteen? That's more than a houseful. But I'd be happy to have them." 

Natasha shot Clint a sidelong glance. "Good thing you still have a dining room," she said, smirking. 

Clint rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," he responded, then returned his attention to Nate, booping him on the nose and watching him giggle. 

Laura frowned, looking at Bruce. "Does the Vision even eat?" she asked him. 

He frowned back at her, amused. "You know, I'm not actually sure." 

* * *

People started arriving the day before. Laura had warned them that there wouldn't be enough room for everyone, but they were undeterred. It helped that this time, Tony brought one of his private jets, Rhodey landing it neatly next to the quinjet on the lawn with the help of its recently installed repulsor-assisted landing gear. 

"Pep and I have roughed it sleeping in the back of that thing plenty of times," Tony said. "And Rhodey and Sam can take the main cabin." 

Bruce frowned at the two men in question, knowing that they made no secret of their relationship. "Are you sure you guys are okay on the benches in the plane?" he asked. "You could have my room if you want more privacy." 

Rhodey and Sam glanced at each other, but Tony was the one who answered, saying, "Nah, they're fine, they get free run of the cockpit, which locks, and hey, all those flight controls? Gets 'em both hot anyway." 

Rhodey glared and muttered, "Really?" and Sam rubbed his nose in embarrassed amusement, but neither of them actually bothered to contradict Tony, so Bruce let it stand. 

Fury threw his bag into his usual guest room, which left the pullout sofa in the den for Laura to offer to the others, but Steve and Wanda told her that they'd be more comfortable slinging up hammocks in the Quinjet, and Vision responded only, "I do not require rest... but you have my thanks for the offer." 

Tony pulled Bruce a little aside, while that was being sorted out, to ask, "So, hey, you and Nat. You've seemed... pretty okay, I guess? But I realized I've never asked. Work always seems more interesting. Things working out?" 

Bruce sighed. "Yeah? I mean, it's complicated, it's not always... straightforward. I'm guessing this is because you noticed the part where we're sleeping in separate rooms?" 

"Always a pretty good sign for me and Pep, if things aren't going right. She'll sleep somewhere else, or I won't... sleep. So yeah. I noticed." 

"That's not what this is. We decided, right from the beginning, that we weren't going to try to be a conventional couple. Weren't going to do things any certain way just because it's the way they're done. So we're taking things... really slow. One step at a time." Bruce looked over at where Natasha was holding Nate on her hip to keep him out from underfoot in the now-crowded living room, and he smiled, eyes crinkling. "But yeah. It's going well." 

Tony slapped Bruce on the back. "Well, hey, that's great," he said, taking a big relieved breath. "Now that that's done, wanna talk shop?" 

"Maybe," Bruce replied. "Or... you could help me with something?" 

Tony's eyes were wary but intrigued. "I feel like this is a trick. Is this a trick?" 

"I was hoping you could help me explain non-Euclidian spaces to Lila? I mentioned something about them to her and she's been intrigued ever since, but there's only so much you can do with words and paper. Maybe some holographic visualizations?" 

"This sounds like a trick," Tony said, but Bruce could see the wheels in his head turning, and he reached for his phone, muttering to himself. "...Cute kids. _Connected._ Marshmallow guns...." 

Bruce smiled to himself and began towing Tony to the art corner by an elbow, where Lila was showing her latest work to a very impressed Uncle Nick. 

Everyone here really was family, enough that they knew how to respect Bruce's space while making it easy to reach out to them. 

It was pretty incredible. 


	2. Chapter 2

That first night they got pizza for dinner, but that didn't stop Laura and Bruce from cooking, making soup and salad to serve alongside. It wouldn't have felt right, not making something for everybody. Steve and Sam both offered their help, and between the four of them, they made short work of it. Vision came and watched curiously, as if not sure whether he belonged. 

Laura, of course, saw that. 

"Hey, I'm Laura. You're Vision, right?" she said, holding out a hand for him to shake between tasks. "Is that what I should call you?" 

"I've been giving some thought to acquiring a name," the man replied, very carefully clasping her hand. "I am in part a being that was given the name JARVIS, and I am fond of the association, but... it no longer feels right. And when Ultron called me Vision, I was to be his body. It was a description, not a name. As such, it suits me as a call sign. But I do wish I had some form of address more personal to give." 

Laura smiled, unfazed. "Well, I've helped name three people," she told him, washing her hands and beginning her chopping again. "Maybe I can help you, too." 

"I would be grateful," Vision replied. "There are so many possibilities, and I find myself... at something of a loss." 

"Well, I usually start with something that's meaningful to me, and then put a little bit of a twist on it. I guess for you, you get to decide what meaningful thing from your life you want to remember every time you introduce yourself." 

"There are... a great many things that are important to me," he said. "And people who were formative in my creation." 

"Well, you don't have to put your whole life into it at once," she said. "But you also don't have to pick just one thing. That's what middle names are for." 

The Vision nodded his head. "That does help," he said. "I have much to consider. But for now, perhaps you should call me Timur." 

"All right, Timur," Laura said, smiling widely. "I have another question for you... do you eat? And if you do, what kinds of things do you like?" 

"I don't _need_ food, strictly speaking," he replied, sitting down at the kitchen table, looking a little more relaxed, as if having a name had helped him feel less metal and more flesh. "The mind gem provides the energy that operates my body. But I have been exploring the subject of food. It's... probably the most startling thing about being in this body, the senses of taste and smell. JARVIS was created to hear and respond to human voices, and learned to process visual information, and he knew the feeling of being in control of a bipedal form capable of flight. But he never tasted." 

"It's probably pretty overwhelming," Laura commented. 

"Sometimes it is. But it's also rewarding." 

"I would hope so. Nate's just going through his introduction to a lot of different foods, and sometimes it's rocky. But we're human, so it's got to be done. You get to decide how worthwhile it is to you." She glanced up at him. "Any particular favorites so far, or anything you hate?" 

"I'm quite fond of apples," he said. "I'm not really sure how I feel about cilantro." 

"Well, just let me know if you want anything in particular," she told him. "We're going to have a big variety tomorrow, though. I'm making turkey, of course, but Bruce and Lila are both trying to stay vegetarian, so he's promised to teach her how to make tofu and peanut sauce. No one's allergic to peanuts or soy, right?" 

"No, the only known allergy among those present is strawberries." 

Bruce's head came up from his work, a little smirk fighting to show on his face. "I did remember to tell her about that," he said. 

"However...." Timur began hesitantly. 

"Yes?" Laura asked patiently. 

"I've recently discovered that Wanda has an... unpleasant reaction to the taste or smell of strong cheeses. It doesn't appear to be physical, but it seems to affect her intensely." 

Sam looked over now from where he and Steve were chatting and keeping watch over the pot of lentil soup. "It's probably some kind of psychological trigger," he said. "She talking to anyone about that stuff? Haven't really had a chance to get a feel for everyone's off-duty stuff yet." 

"Did you get roped into the job of team counselor after I left?" Bruce asked him mildly. 

"Nah," Sam answered. "But I keep an eye out. Avenging's not supposed to be a full time job. You do science, I think I can handle a little counseling on the side." 

"Well, it shouldn't be a problem," Laura said. "We'll just keep the blue cheese dressing off the table for the next couple of days." 

Soon the food was ready, and people began filtering in and out of the kitchen. The house's usual residents gravitated to the table there, but the living room and dining room were both in use too, as people sorted themselves into small conversational groups over the casual meal. Bruce watched in amusement as Tony walked by in search of pizza, eyes goggling at the sight of Nate on Fury's lap, the former SHIELD director cooing quietly at the baby. 

Clint seemed to be in constant motion, trying to keep simultaneous watch over all of the people in his house, see that they were comfortable and fed. Laura had to catch hold of his elbow and tell him to sit down and eat something, and when that seemed not quite effective, she whispered something in Natasha's ear. Natasha deftly picked out a couple of pizza slices and lured him into the dining room with questions about the support structure of the house and how hard it would be to change the layout, really. 

Bruce caught Wanda's eye as she came in search of food, looking uncertain, uncomfortable around him. Bruce hadn't wanted that. He remembered what Laura had said all those months ago about this being a place where Avengers didn't have to worry about what they'd done, about what they might do. He waited until she'd gotten her food and then patted the seat next to his, inviting her to join him. 

She sat, toying with her pizza a little, looking worried. 

"I want to thank you for understanding what I've needed from you," he said, "because I was in a bad place after... everything that happened around the time we met. It's been helpful to know that you're not going to go poking around in my head, pull out the Hulk like you did before." 

Wanda pursed her lips, looking pained. "Of course. I would never... I know what it's like, now, to have all that on your conscience. To see all you've done to hurt and destroy when you were paying attention to something else. I swore to you that I would not touch your mind, and I meant it. It wasn't too much to ask." 

"Well, thank you, anyway," he said, watching her thoughtfully. "But I think... maybe it's time for me to start trusting people a little more again." 

"I don't understand," she told him. "You know I have that power, and you trust me to keep my word. It's enough. After what I did to you...." 

"It wasn't okay. A lot of things have been done to me that weren't okay, sometimes people I cared about and trusted. But I think... I hope... that people can change." 

"You have no reason to trust me," she said, looking at him with earnest sadness. 

"Maybe I don't," he agreed. "Maybe I do. I trust Clint, and I'm beginning to trust Natasha again. You're their teammate... _our_ teammate." He looked up and across the room for a moment, weighing his words. "I'd like to give you permission to stop the Hulk if he ever gets out of control again... by any means necessary." 

Her eyes widened, and she stared, the food in front of her completely forgotten, as evidenced by the black lace of her sleeve trailing through the pizza grease. 

"Yes, I'm giving you permission to reach into my brain again," he told her. "Not now, but... if the time comes." 

She shook her head slowly. "But you hated that. That violation." 

"Honestly, yes. But I hated the results more. I'm asking you to help me prevent it from happening again." 

Her mouth opened and closed a little bit, and then she nodded, slow and solemn. "If it seems necessary," she said. "But I do not think it will. It was difficult, to twist your mind so far. I was determined." 

Bruce laughed tiredly. "Funny, because I feel like I'm right on the edge. Constantly." 

Wanda turned back to her food at last, looking down at it with a kind of glum resentment. "Aren't we all," she said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thanks for the suggestions, peeps! I've apparently got enough material to spread things out over at least one more chapter and I haven't even gotten to actual Thanksgiving yet! Wish me luck in actually finishing this!
> 
> I figured since canonically, Vision chooses his own name based on his current incarnation and influences, neither Victor nor Jonas would be quite right for such a different incarnation. I chose Timur, a Russian name meaning iron, because of this Vision's connection with Jarvis and thus Tony, and also as a tip of the hat for any Russian-speaking members of his team.


	3. Chapter 3

As the evening went on, the center of activity shifted towards the living room, and the kids' questions to the Avengers they didn't see as often tapered off a little bit in favor of snuggling up to more familiar company. 

"Bedtime," Laura decided a couple of hours later, and she was met with only mild protests from her children, which she answered, "everybody will still be here in the morning, and I bet you they'll demonstrate some of their moves for you, too, but right now it's too dark, so you need to sleep." 

Natasha went with her, picking up Lila, who was yawning widely now, and booping her on the nose. "You've gotta sleep, little warrior," she said. "Be ready for the morning." 

"Okay," Lila replied sleepily, letting her head fall into the crook of Nat's neck. 

The others stayed up talking for a little while longer, but then Tony stood, stretching. "Huh, retirement must agree with me. Bedtime sounds like a great plan. Join me, Miss Potts?" 

"That sounds wonderful, actually. And we're still on California time, so it's early." 

"To the mile-high-club headquarters!" he said as he walked to the door. 

Pepper swatted him in response, but as it was on the ass, it probably wasn't much of a deterrent. 

The others trailed out gradually after that, getting ready for sleep, until it was only Bruce and the Vision, standing and looking out at the yard contemplatively, the moonlight falling across the two airplanes and the last little bit of activity as everyone found their places for the night. A little burst of red sparks from the Quinjet as Wanda changed something to settle in for sleep. 

"Well, I should head up too," said Bruce. "Good night, Timur." 

The synthetic man smiled in response to his name. "Thank you, Bruce," he said. "Sleep well. I will be here, if any of you need anything." After a pause he continued. "I remember how fond you were of JARVIS, and I am sorry I cannot do more to fill the place he left empty." 

Bruce hesitated a moment, then put his hand on Timur's shoulder. "I wouldn't have helped create you if I didn't think the chance of creating something like you was worth the risk... all the risks. It was what he wanted. JARVIS was a good person. And so are you. The world hasn't lost anything just because you're... more clearly a person than he was." 

"But you have," Timur said softly. "And I am sorry." 

Bruce smiled crookedly, squeezing his shoulder before letting it go. "Yeah, I have," he said. "But I've gained a few things too." 

Bruce went upstairs, went through the steps of his bedtime ritual, and then lay down, staring at the ceiling. The house felt a little less restful than it usually did, or maybe Bruce's head was just more full of thoughts. Anyway, he tried to sleep for a little while, but around two, he hadn't succeeded. There was still that same unquietness about the house and he decided to go back downstairs and make himself some tea. 

He found Laura and Lila in the hallway, Lila in her mother's arms, looking miserable. "Midnight teatime, huh?" he asked, ruffling her hair. She nodded, looking a little more content now that she knew she wasn't the only one whose sleep hadn't been easy. 

The three of them went downstairs, and Laura settled on the couch with Lila in her lap while Bruce went about making lavender chamomile tea for the three of them, sweetening it liberally with honey for Lila and making sure it was cool enough before he brought it out. 

Timur gave them a glance, but then he continued his watch out the window, very still, as if he were doing his best to imitate a piece of furniture. He had a lot of experience, as JARVIS, with when not to intrude, even if he was in a position to overhear. 

Bruce set their tea on the side table before settling in with his own next to Laura, and Lila wiggled her way into the space between them, curling up tiny. "Bad dreams?" Bruce asked her quietly, quiet enough that she could pretend she hadn't heard. 

"Daddy and Auntie Nat in New York," she responded, almost as quietly. 

"Yeah," said Bruce. "That's tough." 

They sat for a while, drinking their tea, until there was the sound of the front door opening. Vision still stood at the window, looking unperturbed, so Bruce didn't get up. 

It was Tony who wandered into the room. "Hey," he said, waving to the little assembly. "Couldn't sleep and I saw the light on. Midnight teatime?" He had a tiny quirk of a smile for Bruce. Bruce nodded back. 

Timur was turned towards Tony now, almost as if he gravitated to the man - and no wonder. Tony was clearly in distress, and it had been JARVIS's job to notice that, and deal with it. 

"Something disturbed your sleep," Vision said to him, half a question. 

The look on Tony's face when he turned to look back at the man was so very pained, but trying not to show it. "Well," he said, "you know that's not exactly out of the ordinary for me." 

"Was it - " 

"New York? Yeah. Same nightmare, different day...." Tony trailed off as Timur approached him, arms held out in a somewhat tentative gesture of welcome. When Tony took a step forward, he was embraced tightly, and it took a moment for the engineer to get it together and return the hug. 

"You know you don't have to, right?" Tony said, his voice thickening just a little as he valiantly tried to ignore it. "You're all grown up and moved out, doing your own thing, it's not your job. So, you know, only if you're really up for it." 

Timur sighed into his first creator's hair. "For you, Tony," he said, "always." 

And then, Tony truly relaxed into the hug, shoulders shaking just a little as he did. 

Bruce looked away, looked to Lila, where she was settling in a little more between him and Laura. It must have been comforting to know that even Iron Man had nightmares about that day. Laura took the remaining tea out of her hands before she spilled it dozing off. 

Bruce felt so lucky to be here, to have friends, family, like these. 

Soon Tony was settled in an armchair with his own cup of something hot, and Lila was fast asleep against Bruce's shoulder. 

"We should get her back to bed," Laura whispered. 

"I'll get her. You get back to sleep," Bruce told her. 

Laura smiled, bright and grateful and contented. "That would be perfect." 

He didn't think about it, he just leaned in to kiss Laura, and she kissed back, lips parted, softly welcoming as she always was. Bruce didn't think about it until he had Lila in his arms and he was heading out of the room and Tony was looking at him with eyes like saucers and eyebrows near the ceiling. 

Bruce shook his head and mouthed, "Later." 

Tony's reaction to that told Bruce that he wasn't going to get away with keeping the details of his private life private from his best friend much longer. But he pushed that thought aside and nestled Lila into her bed, kissing her on the forehead. 

He knew how he fit into this house, what he was to these people, and that was all that mattered. 

* * *

In the morning there were pancakes, and the loud bustle of fifteen people who were relatively well-rested and excited to be together. It was compounded by a computer being set up in the living room so that they could skype Sam's family, an equally chaotic household, but skewed to much younger people, all Sam's nieces and nephews taking their turns to say hello and squeal a little over how cute Sam and Rhodey were. 

"We'll be there for Christmas, I promise," Sam told his mom. "But we needed to do this with the team this year." 

"And Tony's here, he's family," Rhodey added. "Only family I had for a while there." 

"Well just remember, you're ours now," Mrs. Wilson told him. "So we will see you at Christmas, or they're be hell to pay." 

"Yes, Ma'am," answered Rhodey. 

"Now, go on," she said. "If you're not gonna be here, be there properly. I'll see you both later!" 

They shut the computer off just in time for an excited, syrup-hyper Cooper to come looking for Sam, asking if he could see the wings up close. 

Everyone went hunting for sweaters and spilled outside onto the lawn for what would prove to be half demonstrations, half training. Sam was only too happy to show off the wings, and then he and Rhodey and Timur went through some of their aerial drills. Wanda could fly briefly as well, but it drained her energy, so she only did so in emergencies. 

Tony had brought a suit, but he didn't join in, making the excuse that he wasn't an Avenger any more and didn't know their training program. He could have slipped in, adapted, but instead he sidled up to Bruce at the back of the watching crowd and gave him an expectant look. 

"So obviously I expected to be protecting you from Natasha's wiles and betrayal here," he said. "What is this, payback? Because, Clint...." 

"Clint knows," Bruce began, then shook his head, trying to start over. "Look, it's... as far as I can tell, Clint and Laura have never put much of a barrier between their marriage and Natasha. But she respected what they had enough not to step into that space anyway. Even when she wanted to be part of it. She thought she could build the same thing with me." Bruce looked down, a little wincing, dry laugh escaping him. "We're both a little... not good at that, on our own." 

"So you're... what, swinging?" 

"I guess that's as accurate as anything," Bruce replied. 

"Trendy," Tony quipped, but then he turned and looked Bruce in the eye, searching and serious. "Is this... you want this? You're happy with... all of it?" 

"Yeah," said Bruce. "Yeah, I really am." 

"Huh," said Tony. And then, "Huh," again, as he looked up at the sky, watching the superheroes zooming through it. "World keeps changing," he commented. 

Bruce laughed quietly. "Yes, Tony, it does, even when you're not right out there leading it." 

Tony grinned back at his friend. "It's good to be irrelevant," he said, eyes sparkling. "Well. At least once in a while." 

Bruce pulled him in for a hug, letting him know without words that he wasn't irrelevant, never would be, not to Bruce. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another chapter, and still no Thanksgiving dinner! At least it's the day. I'm getting there.
> 
> I'm having a bit of trouble deciding on a villain to possibly interrupt their revels. I think I've got a pretty solid plan for the rest, other than that.


	4. Chapter 4

Laura and her small army of helpers laid out all the food on the kitchen table, leaving the even longer table in the dining room free for fourteen place settings and a centerpiece, a few bottles of wine, bubbly fruit juice, salt and pepper and gravy. Nathaniel's chair stood in the corner between Clint at the head of the table and Nat on one side. Everyone else piled into the room with plates heaped with food, talking loudly and jovially. 

Every time complimented the peanut sauce, Bruce and Lila's heads ducked in near-identical self-conscious enjoyment. Cooper spent the meal divided between Sam, Rhodey and Tony, asking every question he could think of about their equipment, and how Tony made his dad's arrows and Aunt Nat's stings. Pepper and Vision discussed Stark Industries and how FRIDAY was settling in, until Wanda interrupted, with a little wobble in her voice, to say that this was a time to appreciate family, not talk business. 

"Of course, you're right," Pepper answered. "So do the two of you get out of the Avengers facility often? What do you do with your free time?" 

So they talked about Vision's adventures with food, and all Pepper's favorites that she recommended he try. 

Dinner went quite smoothly, actually, at least until dessert, when Nate threw a handful of blueberry pie at Natasha, and it splattered across her cheek and in her hair. 

"All right, that's it, traitor baby," she said, turning her head slowly and wrinkling her nose. Everyone's attention turned to them, to watch Natasha's tiny smile belying her threatening glare. 

"An Nana," Nate answered with a nose wrinkle of his own, and blew a raspberry at her. 

"Oh, you are going to get it," Nat said, and flicked a piece of yam at him. 

His response was an enormous full-body laugh, and then another handful of pie, some of which splattered against Bruce's arm. Clint, who was in charge of keeping Nathaniel in check for the duration of the meal, just laughed as well, unable to resist the unbridled joy of his son, and his early talent with projectile attacks. 

Lila stood up in her chair, slightly sticky fingers coming down on Bruce's head, and called, "Nate!" 

Laura's eyes widened as if she could feel the chaos coming. "Oh, no," she began, starting to stand herself. 

Just then, a glob of ice cream flew the length of the table, landing in the middle of Clint's forehead and sliding down his face like a giant, ironic bird dropping. 

"Tony," said Clint. 

"Yeah?" Tony answered brashly. 

A spoonful of pumpkin pie joined it in Clint's hairline, thrown by - was that Vision? Or Wanda? Anyway, Clint stood, surveying the table, and said, "I hope you all know what you're starting." 

Laura sat back down, sighing, as the food fight began in earnest. Until Natasha flicked another yam at her, and she just laughed and joined in. 

Bruce and Lila formed a unit, and Bruce probably got more mess on him from his would-be-defender's gooey fingers than he did from actual flying food, but that was just fine with him. Nate's coating of sugar was mostly of his own doing, as well. At one end of the table, Tony, Cooper and Sam ended up in one sticky wrestling match, while at the other, Natasha had Clint in a headlock while she licked ice cream off his forehead. 

"Eww!" Lila exclaimed. 

"Agreed," Laura laughed. "Come here, honey, give me some of that sugar." 

Nat reluctantly let him go so he could go to his wife, and she sat down at her place next to Bruce, smirking at Lila. 

"You're gross, Aunt Nat," said Lila. "Don't lick people." 

"It's okay if you know they wouldn't mind," Nat told her solemnly, and then she raised her eyebrows at Bruce. "So what do ya say, Doc?" 

"C'm'ere," he said, and wrapped an arm around her and kissed the blueberry off her face. 

"EWW!" Lila said, louder this time, and climbed out of her seat to scamper away from the table. 

"Okay," Laura said, pulling away from a sticky kiss, "Clint, it's time for you to go light a fire in the firepit and get all of these children out of my dining room." 

"Right," said Clint, stopping to rub their noses together one last time. "Okay, anybody who doesn't want to help clean up this pigpen, follow me!" 

Steve, Wanda and Vision insisted on helping, and then Laura shooed everybody else out the door, saying that was enough and she needed the others out of the way. Wanda was already sending out red sparks, seeing if she couldn't magic out the worst of the blueberry stains before they set. 

Cooper helped Clint stack the wood and kindling in the fire pit, and soon the fire was bright and warm, and they gathered around it. Pepper was handing out wet naps, and shaking her head fondly at Tony as he tried to justify his part in the fracas. Natasha held the sticky baby, and Nick had a chatty Lila by the hand, who was exclaiming, "You're the best, Uncle Nick. You know why? Because you never do anything _icky._ " 

"Not when I can avoid it, no," he agreed, taking one of Pepper's offered wet naps and opening it with his teeth. 

Natasha turned to Bruce, wincing a little. "So I'm guessing that wasn't really on the list of approved Thanksgiving dinner activities?" she asked, brushing yam out of Nathaniel's hair. 

"Not... really?" Bruce answered. "It was fun, though. And I think the kids get that it was a one-time thing. Well, except for the troublemaker who started it." He rubbed Nate's sticky cheek. 

"It's not entirely without precedent, though," Sam said, coming up beside them. "Trust me, you get this many people together for Thanksgiving? Something's gonna go wrong, and I gotta say, it could be a lot less pleasant." 

"Thanks," said Natasha. "For being here. I haven't really... done this before. The big Thanksgiving thing, I mean." 

"It's an experience," Sam said, nodding. "Having a good time?" 

"Yeah," she said, sighing a little. "I am." 

He grinned. "Great." Then he went to mingle with the others. 

As the evening chill set in, they gathered closer to the fire, all except Sam and Rhodey, who who settled into the shadows of the back porch, huddled close together for their warmth. Laura came out with a couple of washcloths to clean the kids' faces and hands properly. 

She was taking Nate out of Natasha's arms when the lights of some kind of stealth craft spilled out across the lawn. 

No... it was a suit. Bigger than the Hulkbuster, plated in black and grey, silent as a whisper even as its great mass stepped forward into their gathering. 

"Shit," said Tony, and reached into his pocket. 

"Don't bother calling your armor," said the monstrosity, in a voice that none of them recognized, except for Tony, if the look in his eyes was any indication. A glowing dome sprang up around them, cutting them off from their equipment and reinforcements. 

"Hey, Zeke," Tony greeted. "Shoulda told me you needed somewhere to be on Thanksgiving, I would've hooked you up, least I could do." 

"You really don't get to act like we're family anymore," the armor growled. "Not after what you did. After Ultron? Some _very_ interesting clips leaked out onto the net...." 

Clint and Natasha had taken the opportunity of the distraction to silently coordinate and begin moving towards the armor, but one huge gauntlet turned in their direction and shot them each in the neck with some kind of dart. They dropped to the ground. 

Zeke looked around at his captive audience, then. "Pepper, I expected. A few of the Avengers? I factored for that, just in case. But kids? Tony Stark? I did not expect to find you with kids. Is this your secret family? Did someone finally succeed in suing for child support?" 

Tony shrugged, drawing attention back to himself. "They're niblings." 

"Whatever that means." The armored head turned back to where Bruce, Laura and the kids were still clustered together by the fire. "Kids, you don't want to hang out with Iron Man. Iron Man kills people." 

"Yeah, _bad_ people," said a small, defiant voice. 

"Shush, Cooper," Laura whispered at him. 

"Bad people? Well, I suppose it's all a matter of perspective. And I've finally got mine. They never found a body, you know? I always suspected there was something off about my father's death. Now I know that Tony killed my dad, and you're going to see me kill your... well, whatever he is to you." 

"Uncle Tony!" a tiny voice insisted. 

"Lila! Shhh!" 

"And you must be their mother." The armor loomed over Laura and the kids. 

The others must have known by now what was going on, they must have been armed and making plans to get through the field. But they hadn't yet. Bruce stepped up. 

"If you even think about touching these kids, or Laura...." 

"Oh, Doctor Banner! Have I got things wrong? Is this brood yours? Well...." A dart shot out and embedded itself in Bruce's neck, and he could feel the vibrations coming from it this time, acting on his nervous system faster than just chemicals could have, paralyzing him, dropping him to the dirt around the fire pit. Then the chemicals kicked in, relaxing his muscles, providing chemical calm. 

There was a smugness to Stane's voice as he watched Bruce become affected. "I don't think the Hulk's going to get in my way today. I'm here for Tony Stark." 

"If you want him you'll have to go through me, Stane," Pepper said, and she stepped in front of Tony and let the heat of Extremis bubble up through her skin until she was glowing red. 

Zeke's head turned, focusing now on Tony, and on Pepper in front of him. "Now that, I didn't factor in," he said. "I heard they never stabilized Extremis. Can you really regulate? But either way, you're only _one_ piping hot bitch. You can't protect Tony, _and_ the kids." 

He spared no attention at all for Laura. 

Laura had settled Nathaniel in Cooper's arms, and now she reached into the fire pit and grabbed a burning branch, grinding it hard into Bruce's shoulder. 

The pain burst into his system, adrenaline coursing through him and outpacing the sedative, and the change took, breaking the paralysis. 

The last thing Bruce remembered as himself was Laura saying, "I really think you miscounted." 

* * *

Hulk smashed and smashed, but after all the guns were gone and the rocket feet were gone, he very carefully peeled the boy out of the rest of the suit. By then, Vision and the Scarlet Witch had managed to find their way through the field. Wanda was waking up Clint and Natasha, and Vision found the thing that was making the field and dismantled it into a thousand tiny pieces. Then he told Hulk that he would see to the prisoner. Hulk snorted an answer, and turned away from the terrified boy to check on the rest of his team. 

They were all there. They were all safe. And the kids were here. Hulk grinned. He lumbered up, very slowly. They were so tiny. 

Nate laughed. "Big Boo!" he said, reaching out and waving from the circle of Cooper's arms. 

"Baby," Hulk greeted in return. 

"Hello, Hulk!" Lila said, approaching with wide-eyed enthusiasm. "Thank you for saving us. He was scary. Can I have a hug?" 

Hulk peered doubtfully down at her. 

"Please? Bruce hugs always make me feel safer but he's not really quite here right now and I think Hulk hugs might be even better." 

"They are pretty good," Natasha added from where she was still sitting on the ground, a little dizzy. "Go ahead, Big Guy. You'll do OK." 

Hulk very gently picked Lila up, trying to remember how Bruce did it and not quite managing to recreate it with his own huge green hands, but he did get her cradled against his chest so that she could wrap her arms around his neck and give a contented sigh. 

* * *

When Bruce came back to himself, he was huddled into a huge quilt in a chair by the fire, and Lila was asleep in his lap. Natasha sat beside him, and she smiled at him when he woke up. 

"Everyone's fine," she told him. "The only person who really got hurt was you. Shoulder feeling okay?" 

"Stings a little," he said, moving it experimentally. "But it's mostly healed. Zeke?" 

"Secured in the Quinjet," she said. "He put a tracker in Tony's jet last time he was on board and when he saw Tony was in the middle of nowhere, he thought it was the perfect opportunity." 

"Didn't expect all the Avengers?" 

"No, he did not. And Wanda's in there right now, playing with his mind. Just a little. We want to make sure this location is still secure, and see how much danger he might pose in the future." 

Bruce nodded. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. But it was very good to have Wanda on their team, rather than against them. 

"When she's finished," Bruce said, "can you tell her I'd like to talk to her?" 

"Yeah," said Nat, and stood, leaning down to kiss him. "Good thing you were here today," she said before heading for the quin. 

Nearby, Tony and Vision were talking quietly about Ezekiel Stane. 

"He's a brilliant kid," Tony said. "Made sure he got to a good college, had everything he needed. Hell, he has about as much right to Stark Industries as I do. Just because our dads weren't nice...." 

"He was never your responsibility to fix," Vision told him. 

"Yeah, well," said Tony, then changed the subject. "So, those clips he was talking about.... how much did he see? And how?" 

"In Jarvis's last moments, there were some memories he refused to delete entirely, because they were key parts of the formation of his personality. They were heavily encrypted, of course, and fragmented as well, when Ultron destroyed his consciousness. Even if they were to be found, no one could have decrypted them who was not very familiar with your programming style." 

"So we don't know how much he knows." Tony sighed. "How much do I tell him?" 

"He knows barely anything," Wanda interrupted. "Some of the fight, the fall into the reactor. I do not think he knows who his father truly was. I think he has the right to know, if he has gone so far in the man's footsteps." 

"Yeah?" Tony said. "...Yeah, okay. J... Timur, you want to help me out here?" 

"Certainly, Tony," the being answered. 

As they left, Wanda sat in the chair that Natasha had vacated. "The Hulk did well today," she told him. "He even played with the children, afterwards. Cooper said he made the best playground." 

Bruce sighed. "Thank you for keeping them safe," he said. "But I'm not sure if it's a good idea for them to get used to the idea that he's safe to be around. You won't always be here. But thank you for keeping him calm." 

Wanda shook her head, slow and solemn. "You told me to intervene if he seemed out of control. If he seemed dangerous. But he never did. So I didn't touch a thing. I simply glanced inside. The Hulk... when he feels safe, he's very kind. I think you do not give him nearly enough credit." 

"Huh," said Bruce. He couldn't... quite... take that in right now. 

* * *

The household awoke slowly the next morning, the kitchen host to a languid series of cups of coffee and leftover rolls and salvaged pieces of pie and hugs goodbye. 

"You should have knocked on wood when you said something always goes wrong," Natasha told Sam. 

"Yeah, I don't think 'holiday mishaps' really covers that kind of thing, though," Sam answered. "That was not normal." 

"In our lives?" Fury said from the doorway, making Sam jump. "That kind of thing is, sadly, relatively normal." 

The Quinjet left first, heading back to Avengers HQ with their prisoner on board, and Rhodey and Pepper finally bullied Tony out of the house and back onto the jet to take off just before noon, and then it was just the seven of them again. Bruce hunched over a cup of vanilla chai, just trying to regain some balance after the craziness of the holiday. 

"Hey," said Clint, and his strong hands dug into the muscles of Bruce's back, rubbing out some of the tension. "How're you holding up?" 

"Good," answered Bruce. He pushed his tea out of the way and let his head sink down to the table. "Tired." 

"Thinking we'll have a small Christmas this year, then?" 

Bruce couldn't help but laugh. "Yes. Please." 

It felt good - weird, but good - that no one even doubted that he'd be here. 


End file.
